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REVIEW: Babies

Not even as cute or interesting as those funniest video shows

Babies: Rates a C.
Courtesy photo

You know how you’ll be in at a movie and you see the trailer for an upcoming film you get so excited about? I’m ashamed to admit that I had that feeling when I saw the trailer for Babies. My girlfriend and I both audibly went “ahhhh” at the cute babies on screen.

And imagine my surprise when the showing I was at, someone brought their real babies. I’m not sure why. Did they think babies like watching their own kind on screen? I didn’t think their crying would bother me,

since there was no dialog in the movie, and…well, there were babies crying on-screen.

This movie is a documentary, although it’s probably the only documentary you’ll ever see with nobody narrating any portion of it.

It follows four babies in the first year of their lives (I was dying for the closing credits to tell us what the babies are doing now – at age 3).

Here’s a little fun: match the baby names to the places they’re from. There’s Ponijao, Bayar, Mari, and Hattie. They are from Nambie, Mongolia, Japan, and San Francisco.

It’s interesting to see the various customs certain families have – like singing before dinner. One mother finds a very good use for corn on the cob after dinner, which is too gross to describe.

We already knew animals take abuse from babies, but I must admit – it was great watching a baby drag a cat around on a leash.

Another scene involved the hippie couple (from San Francisco). The woman gets punched in the face by her baby, and simply pulls a book off the shelf with a title about how to properly discipline your child.

When she sings a song about the earth and how you should love it, her child (smartly) makes a bee-line for the door.

As interesting as some scenes were, lots of this isn’t even as cute or interesting as videos you might see watching a rerun of one of those funniest video shows. Those would involve older siblings picking on the baby, wild animals approach the tots and lots of cute baby faces.

The movie loses steam half-way through.

I’d say…if women are trying to drag their men to see this, they shouldn’t. Even most women will get bored with it. Save your insistence on them attending a movie with you for when Sex and the City 2 comes out.

I’m giving this a C (section) minus.