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MOVIE REVIEW: The Green Lantern

Ryan Reynolds is the one in green tights


Ryan Reynolds as The Green Lantern

UPDATE: Corrections made in this review, thanks to the keen eyes of our readers

In the old days, super hero movies were made that told the complete story. In the first Superman with Christopher Reeve, we were shown how the character was found by his parents. We saw clips of him growing up, and it quickly got to the main story.

In more contemporary times, with the studios realizing that these movies bring in big bucks, they're not as concerned with giving you a great film. They figure they can give you a story that sets up the characters, and they’ll take more of your money with all the future films they do with that character.

Thor was a little thin because of this, but it got mostly good reviews. There were two super hero movies that dealt with the hero in their earlier days that were very enjoyable – Batman Begins and Iron Man.

The Green Lantern is the worst super hero movie I've ever seen. For those that aren’t familiar with the history of the Green Lantern, the movie gives us a long, convoluted explanation in the beginning. The universe is filled with various “green lanterns” who wear a green ring and protect everyone from evil. This time evil is a creature called Parallax. It’s hard to explain this story to friends with a straight face. During all of this, the critic next to me forgot her 3-D glasses and went to get them. I’m guessing she was confused through most of the film, so don’t arrive late.

They spent $300 million dollars making this, and just as with the last Tron (which cost $200 million), the special effects aren’t that great. When the jets are flying in the beginning, the 3-D actually looked cheesy. It got even cheesier when the Green Lantern made race cars, machine guns, and brick walls appear by using his mind.

Ryan Reynolds is a hot shot pilot, and yes, many of the scenes will remind you of Top Gun and also Tom Cruise in the lame War of the Worlds. Cruise starts that movie driving a ‘60s Mustang and peeling out down the street, showing up late to pick up his daughter. This movie starts with Reynolds driving an old Charger, skidding out, and running late for work.

Peter Sarsgaard was a little interesting as the loner scientist, who slowly turns into John Malkovich; and then Eric Stoltz from Mask; and finally – the Elephant Man.

The talented Angela Basset was wasted in her small role, and so was one of my favorite ballads ever – The Fleetwood’s Come Softly to Me.

Tim Robbins was perfectly cast as the slimy Senator Hammond, that seems to love his job more than his son (Sarsgaard).

A few of the scenes on the various planets were interesting, although having seen similar settings in Avatar and Thor; who cares? Four screenwriters wrote this. Perhaps another four could’ve helped them come up with characters in this 3-D movie that weren’t one dimensional. It’s an over-produced mess.

Save your money and avoid The Green Lantern.

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  • Rating: 1 of 5