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A Beach without Beer

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“Ahhhhh…” This is the common exclamatory exuded after the first sip of a freshly cracked, frosty beverage. It is a well deserved post-surf quencher. However, America’s Finest City has finally quenched its own thirst for banning alcohol on ALL San Diego Beaches.

The “Trial Ban” will run until Jan. 14th, 2009. First time offenders face a $250 fine and repeat offenders could face up to six months in jail. WHAT? Six months in jail? To quote the band The Dead Milkmen: “Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick”!!! From what I understand, we are already experiencing an overcrowding problem throughout California and now we are going to put these hardened criminals behind bars as well? I think we can all agree that that is a little extreme.

A surfer without beer? I’m sure there are a few handfuls of surfers out there that could care less about this, but I’m not concerned about them right now. Not only will this bum out the weekend warrior and free up a lot more parking, but it will also cause all of the coffee drinking tourists from Seattle to be constantly hassled by local law enforcement.

It will most likely go like this:

Life Guard: “I have a suspicious individual drinking from a water bottle while running down the boardwalk. He just took a swig from the container and is now adjusting a device attached to his arm with ear phones on it.”

Police: “Use intense amounts of Pepper spray and detain him until we can get S.W.A.T. down there. It may be a while though. We are currently dealing with a 94 year old suspect that was smuggling Mad Dog 20/20 in a Burger King cup.”

The above is a little overboard, but we will surely have an increased amount of people being hassled than need be. At the same time; there will be an increased amount of “smugglers” attempting to sneak their alcohol down to their sand parties.

I have no doubt that this ban will be in effect well past its printed expiration date. The question is “how much money will the city make from it” and “how many hardened criminals will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law?” These questions are part of the conspiracy theory posed by some beach goers in Pacific Beach.

Just like the PB Block Party and Street Scene (Downtown Era); some people are glad to see this happen. Bars, specifically, will surely see the positive impact of this ban. If you can’t drink at the beach, drink at the beach bar.

It was only a matter of time before this ban took place. San Diego beaches were one of only a handful of beaches in the U.S. that still allowed drinking. There is nothing better to change that than a nationally televised Labor Day beach brawl. It’s unfortunate that a group of drunken idiots created blushed embarrassment cheeks for San Diego. The damage is done and the ban has already taken effect.

What do we do now? Well, you could sulk about it and have endless conversations and debates with your buddies about it. Or, you could get over it while sipping a freshly Barrista made cocktail at your local watering hole. The lighter side of this is that the beach itself has not been not yet been banned. So, get out there and enjoy it.

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  • City: San Diego